Next month, I’m turning 30. And I’m sort of freaking out.

Now, I know some of you are rolling your eyes the same way I do when one of my skinny friends says she “feels fat today.” I know I’m (hopefully) not even to the halfway point of my life. I never had the quarter life crisis, so I don’t know why this one feels so huge.

Also, life has been good to me lately. 2013 was extra hard, but 2014 is looking good. I have a place to live. Two awesome dogs. Lots of wonderful friends. I live in a great city. The Eagles actually made it to the playoffs. And last but not least,  I recently got engaged!

(here is my ring in case you missed one of the 200,000 times I’ve posted a picture of it on twitter.)

So this will not only be the year I turn 30, it will be the year I get married…and maybe, JUST MAYBE, the year I sing with Bruce.

However, this post and this song are not about looking forward, but more about looking back. I will say that while I’m dreading the big 3-0, you couldn’t pay me to be 20 again.

As far as The Promise goes, this has always been way up there in the Bruce repertoire for me. It’s one of the major ones that reminds me of choices I’ve made thus far, and you know what they say about songs- the only thing people want to hear about is themselves. Anyway, most likely you have been told to go for your dreams, reach for the stars, yadda yadda. But no one tells you what happens when they don’t work out. I followed that dream just like those guys did, too. I’ve seen that dream work out for people around me. I’ve been SO CLOSE, yet so far. I’ve not been able to fall asleep many nights wondering, “why?” And while the stars seem to be aligning in every other facet of my life right now, there is still a pull- a hurt actually- where that dream once was.

“and everyday it just gets harder to live with the dreams you’re believing in.”

So I’m going to let you in on a secret: the panic is not in me turning 30. It’s there because I always thought I would have “made it” by now. Because, there is an unknown in “what am I supposed to be doing if it’s not music!?” Just the other day I was questioning if I should “give up” and if I already had. I’m a real pain in the ass as far as praying goes, and I know some of you aren’t down with that and that’s fine too. I know that God’s often like “come on Bridget, I have wars and famine to deal with. You getting a publishing deal/Notre Dame winning is not that important.” But He also knows I’m stubborn too. So I pulled the old “give me a sign its not time to quit.”

And then Bruce released his tour dates.

So Bruce, or people who know him, if you’re reading, I am coming to the show in Nashville. If there’s any way we could sing together, even if it’s just during sound check, I would forever be grateful. It would be great to win big, once.